Life after 50 has unexpected outcomes

Life after 50 has unexpected outcomes

Life after 50 has unexpected outcomes. But what if you could rediscover the joy and purpose you deserve?

When you've built a life and a big, earth shattering event has upended your sense of self, it can be a struggle.

There can be many causes for this end result of your floundering identity. Rememeber that it's whatever matters to you, and so only you can work through it to allow the new sense of self to form and then flourish.

“Logical Levels” by Robert Dilts is a useful model that you can use to analyse any change:

Think of a pyramid: the base layer is Environment – where you are, what’s around you, including other people.

This is the level of opportunities and external threats. Where you work, live, the people around you.

The next layer of th epyramid going up is Behaviour. What you actually do – this takes place in, and acts upon, the Environment as discussed above.

Going up, the next level is Capability: this is what you know how to do, are able to do, the skills you have. Behaviour is chosen from within your range of skills – just because you have the ability to do something, doesn’t mean you will do it.

Then it's Values and Beliefs – Values are what is important to you, and Beliefs are what you believe about yourself, other people, and how the world operates. Your Values motivate you – if a goal is important, you will put effort into making it happen. Crucially, you use Values to decide if something is right or wrong. Beliefs include cause and effect "rules" – you believe that an action will cause certain outcomes eg “if that happens, I will feel/do/be xxxx”.

Next it's the level of Identity - your sense of self, who you recognise as yourself (remember this changes a lot as we go through life!)

At the top of pyramid is the level of Purpose - what you feel connected to, and what you would give up your life for.

For some people this will be their belief or faith system, for other people their family, an idea, a political belief, a cultural identity – or a mix of some of these.

Or there may be a gap – if you haven’t been able to be focused on anything other than your immediate problems. This is when you ask “Is that all there is?” or “What now?”

This may be when when you've reached a goal you thought you wanted, or run out of away-from motivation, or had to deal with your "big, earth shattering event": could be a bereavement or loss of any kind, could be a diagnosis, a disaster of some kind - large or small, there is no scale - it's the effect on you that is of consequence.

Take time to consider. Take time for yourself. Change at the higher levels will deliver positive outcomes in the rest of your life.

If you need help with any of this, I am a specialist in Life's challenges and changes: